A little note today on my series of posts entitled “Sam’s Big Gift” (check out all of Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4). It’s been a full four weeks since that adventurous day, and Melissa and I have thankfully not suffered any relapses. We have also, to my great sadness 
, haven’t had any stripper nurses come around either 
. So, life goes on. Day by day we live our little routine, and as each day passes our fears of a repeat incident are subsided. As each meal stayed the course and refused to ascend our digestive systems, we grew more and more confident in our recovery.
We are feeling fine and doing great, but my wallet isn’t. Yesterday in the mail, we got our ambulance transportation fee. It was for $216.00. :shock: For a 10 minute ride?!!? They didn’t even put on the freaking siren!!! Hello! Remember us?!? The Jack and 
Jill medics? We’ll here’s our little way of saying “Thanks for riding along!!”. So that clears one thing up folks: they didn’t do any prostate exams while I was in the hospital anymore, because it is now clear to me that they wait a few weeks, and stick it to you at home through the mail. 
Is it the gas? How much does it cost to gas up an ambulance? Are they running on freaking caviar and Cristal? Jack and Jill we’re a little hefty… Am I paying their lunch bill as well? So 62 tacos is an ideal lunch for a portly pair of paramedics? Did I pass out and miss the buffet stop during the ride?!?
Mind you, the fee is a combined amount for both Melissa and I, but for a hundred bucks they could have at least managed to let me lie down in the damn ambulance. If you remember the situation, I was fighting back a puke attack due to me bouncing up and down on the ambulance’s trampoline/chair! My vital fluids are everywhere but where they should be, and they give me a seat in the Cirque du Soleil! I guess it’s that attention to detail that drove the price up folks.
I’m just ranting here folks, but I feel better now! I might rant off again in a few days, because if the ambulance wasn’t free, then the hospital stay sure as heck won’t be! Stripper nurses don’t come cheap you know! Right guys?!? Huh?!?! Guys?!?! Right?!?! Hmm… yeah…
Sam’s Big Gift is turning out to be one of those gifts that keeps on giving!
I am glad we don’t have to paid, that’s the last thing you want when you are not feeling well.
Rant away, its good to get it out.